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elpresidente On July - 12 - 2009

Return of the Wags: Robinho gets hitched

Anyone who has been following the blog for awhile knows that the wags of the world are never far from the realm of Forza Futbol. After much cajoling, primarily from my friend Elisa, I decided to start the wags up again but I was hesitant, nothing really struck me as funny or interesting, but then lo and behold, my favorite Brazilian Robinho got hisself a permanent baby-mama. I couldn’t help myself.

Guarujá, Brasil: in the luxurious hotel Casa Grande, in a ceremony attended by national team coach Dunga and strike partner Kaka, with Manchester City team-mate Elano in the wedding party looking on, Robinho got hitched. After a 12 year courtship, the Manchester City striker tied the knot the other day with his childhood sweetheart Vivian Guglielmetti, age 24. Ehhhhhhhrrrr.

Does someone in the media ever fact check anymore? Now, I know things are different where the weather is warmer and statues of Jesus loom over the candy-drop, sugar-loaf mountains, but does anyone really believe that this talented proto-Wag has been dating the party-manimal since grade school? Let’s igore the fact that he’s been sucking his thumb after goals since his time at Santos, a gesture to his infant son Pepe who now plays for Real Madrid, back in the days when he was still in his teens and his man-crush team-mate Diego still hadn’t grown out the beard of Thor (he couldn’t really, the hormones hadn’t kicked in yet), and Elisa and I would troll google for pictures of the kid, Robinho that is, and we’d find him sitting on some wrinkly woman’s knee and wonder why such talented footballer had such keen interest in the Golden Girls?

Was this a character flaw? A quirky fetish? A gag picture? A family portrait? Thankfully it was the latter, he just loved his own Mama so much people, but little did we know that he was hiding a real head-turner in the favela. Grrowr.

Now, don’t be fooled by the waistline, or the sequines, the tiara or the headlites, this is a real keeper for the want-away Citizen ladies and gentleman. Ignore that sordid business about Robinho sexually harrassing a girl in a Manchester night-club recently. Discount that little report that our boy Robson once asked for 40 condoms while seen dancing with a blonde party girl and Ronaldinho looking on like a proud older brother. Vivien was pregnant at the time people. He has standards. This is a boy who cares about his family so much, he’s willing to give up on his training before an important match, fly south for an ailing family member, attend assorted and numerous family funerals and wakes, and then fly back to Spain or England, and train in a state of inebriated exhaustion. Why? Because he cares.

He’s been caring so much for Vivian, he’s been hiding her away from potential kidnappers, and other footballers, since she was 12 years old. Get your mind around that people. She was still watching scary Brazilian kid show presenters in her prepubescent revery when the new Pele came calling for her on his tricycle. And now he’s made an honest wag out of her. Good for them. Let people criticize his way-cool hand gestures, like the one in this picture, or the fact that he decided to embarrass us by showing his OH-face on his wedding day.

He and his beautiful wife deserve the the privacy and respect that any millionaire footballer deserves. Congratulations to the happy couple.

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